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Be Younonymous: A Latino in Dresden

Aug 17th

Posted by be younonymous in Keeping Conscious

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It’s one thing, as a Latino in the United States, to be aware of your race as a function of those around you. You may act or feel differently with white, African American or Asian friends than you do with your fellow Latino’s. To some extent, you are used to it in your home and places you are familiar with, and maybe it doesn’t bother you as much as you thought it did.

It’s an entirely different situation, as a Latino in Europe, than what you are used to. Even a step beyond Europe, a Latino in Germany, but not just Germany but Eastern Germany, studying abroad and one of the two minorities in your group. This was my experience a few years ago, as walking through the streets of Dresden I was always cognizant that I stood out.

While we were prepared for the Culture Shock associated with living abroad before going to Dresden, there were some aspects of the society that there was no preparation for. While the main campus of TU Dresden and the dormitory were definitely safe, particularly since we were in the international dormitory, there were certain areas of the city I would not enter at night or alone. I’m a Boston native, and while there are racists everywhere I was never, ever exposed to skinheads. I use this term lightly as I do not want to step on any toes, but if you’ve seen American History X or a similar movie and imagining leather clad, stud wearing bald people covered in tattoos (some of which, yes, were swastikas) you would not be far off. Generally, we were very safe, but there is one story I want to tell, about the morning of my flight out of Germany, that exemplified how I felt.

I wake up at five in the morning and walk downstairs to the cab. Still groggy, I put my bags in the trunk and get into the back of the cab, never giving the cabby a thought. I was used to the mostly tattooed individuals of the Dresden cab service and never had a problem before. Speaking good English, he asks me where I’m from and I tell him America, and then he gets serious. The cabby starts going off on the United States, saying things like “How can a good White Nation elect a black man like Obama to be president” or “Why has America not been able to exterminate the Mexican’s from their population.” All I can think is, “Please don’t ask me my nationality, please don’t ask me my nationality, please don’t notice I’m not white” and so on. I made it to the airport safely, but was terrified beyond any belief. I was truly thankful I made it there alive.

There is only so much preparation anyone can have for nut jobs. Honestly, Germany wasn’t all that bad. I would never go back to Dresden, but the experience helped me grow. More than moving to school, more than anything else I’ve ever accomplished or not accomplished, being in Dresden put me entirely out of my element. Never before had I been that cognizant of how sad certain areas of the developed world were, how democracy and freedom without the social awareness leaves people with their old values and not new ones. (Dresden was formerly part of Eastern Germany, most of the natives are the first generation born after the wall fell. Beyond this point, Dresden was home to the largest Neo Nazi demonstration since World War II) Racism in general is difficult to deal with. I guess, at the end of the day, what doesn’t hurt you makes you stronger.

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Handy guide to biking-and all the risk it entails!

Exes and Whys…Life after Lost Love

Aug 16th

Posted by mcastillo in Keeping Conscious

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Handy guide to biking-and all the risk it entails!

Oh yeah, it’s a romance related post. Just because I think love needs a little more lovin’ here at Culture Shock.

Now if you personally know me or one of my exes and think you’re getting some juicy gossip-you can stop reading right here. I am not a fan of kiss and tell. The purpose of this post is to throw down some musings I’ve had since loving and learning how to leave. From my first kiss to my last stop at the heartbreak hotel, getting over lost love is like learning how to become an adult. It’s growing pains.

But damn, what pain. No pill cures it, no tub of ice cream is fulfilling enough. What you feel is the best medicine is sometimes the worst thing for you to take. But sometimes, it feels like the only thing you got.

That's gonna leave a mark...

It’s not so much the breaking up part. That’s the fall off a bike, landing knee first on the scraggly pavement below. Ouch! Seconds feels like sore hours to some; It’s the pain of first impact. Sometimes that decision to end in hurt is not even yours to make-it’s your partner’s. Reasonably, for no reason, or unreasonably, love life as you know it is over, swimming with the fishes at the bottom of the Charles River in the dead of winter over. You may want to reconcile differences, give love another (and another and another…) chance, or try to be friends right afterward. Pause. While you only have split-seconds to decide whether you want your hands or your face to meet the pavement next in a fall, you can take all the time you need to make those decisions. Love waits, as my mom says, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise already has another horse in the stable. Either way, giving and getting breathing room is not a bad idea for either of you. If things have deteriorated this far, it’s probably necessary. (Let me throw in the disclaimer, that all relationships are different. I don’t want to sound like relationship help hotline; I’m just sharing tips that have gotten me through emotional, irrational trying times).

Warning: Unpredictable Trail Ahead

Then comes the healing, the getting over, and getting your groove back part. Wincing, limping, you may try and ride again after a crash. You may go a little slower, more cautious. Some may go faster, wanting to get home to clean up. Others may just stand clear of the bike, shake their head, and say never again. Healing is as individual as the person going through it. Keep in mind that pain and grief are good indicators that you are human and that you can care deeply about something. This societal stigma against crying and outrage is suppression of natural emotions. Go ahead, don’t feel ashamed to cry, be a little angry, vent to friends-but in moderation. It’s supposed to be a coping mechanism, not a permanent state of mind. Cry it all out, dry the tears, and get walking.

Friends help make it better-you just gotta trust them!

Once walking, put yourself back in society. Go out with friends, reconnect with an orientation friend you haven’t heard from in awhile. Like bike riding, you have to remind yourself what’s it worth to you. The trails, neighborhoods, and the feeling you get when you’re riding as fast as possible on an open stretch of road. For relationships, it’s human connection. Friends, socials, and the random conversation while waiting for the T; Its the feeling of being a part of something. Part of the group, the community, the city you live in, we search for that acceptance. Granted it’s not as deep or physical as a personal romantic relationship-but some best friends may argue they may know you better than your ex. Chances are, they’re right. Focusing on your friends and family will help stabilize you as you move along.

One pedal in front of the other...

But, there’s still pain. While no longer bleeding or scabbed, those wounds still smart when people mention it to you. Maybe you’re a bit sensitive to the scar on your knee, you would prefer covering it up with pants than having people stare or ask you about it. You prefer never riding your bike again after the spill. Fear of getting hurt is natural-it’s a survival instinct. Listen to it. It just means you’re not quite comfortable with getting back in the saddle-yet. However, if you do see the opportunity for a bike ride/relationship, you need to be honest with yourself and the others around you. Ask yourself if you are prepared to go through the motions and possibly end up hurt once more. Otherwise, you may not be the only one hurt this time around.

It’s funny, but in the same way we compare scars from our youth, we compare love wounds. We’re stuck with the baggage of our past, that’s just the way it is. Accept it, deal with it, put it in the basement with the tricycles and Power Rangers bike. We’ve grown out of it; that just won’t suit us anymore. Don’t be embarrassed, we all made the mistake of getting a Reptar bike too many. It may have been hard to give up your Sharper Image scooter at one time, but now you’ve found a more reliable and mature transportation: a car.

Sometimes you have to go through a lot of duds in order to find the one that fits you best.

Relationships can take you places you’ve never been, both good and bad. Bumpy roads and silent dull lulls can make it tedious at times. Outside weather forces may wreck havoc on your peaceful Sunday drive. Traffic jams and car accidents are some of the risks we take. Sometimes we have to fight uphill battles, fight for the perfect spot, or fight a driver who’s trying to cut you off in traffic. And then there’s the cost of maintenance. To me, it’s all worth it-as long if it means I get to where I want to go.

But don’t forget the helmet!

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A Conversation Between Friends

Aug 13th

Posted by adam.e in Keeping Conscious

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Hello everyone,

Today, I would like to share with you an actual conversation between Carly and myself. This is not an example of me slacking off (read any of my other posts for examples of that). Instead, I would like our readers to see some of my thought processes that end up on the blog.

Also, this is meant to be a serious blog post. No pictures today. Please read it as you would any other.

11:32

Adam

read this

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2010/08/04/gerard-bradley-proposition-marriage-sex-california-judge/

i want to write a post about this

i’m honestly offended by it

they’re reporting unsubstantiated rumor as fact

11:34am

Carly

they made a lot of speculations about the judge’s personal life

11:36am

Carly

I kind of wanted to write a post about the NYC mosque

11:36am

Adam

can we combine?

or rather, on sequential days

companion posts

because a lot of the opposition appears to come from the radical right wing

and is currently being mainstreamed by the likes of sarah palin and fox news

11:38am

Carly

i don’t know, we do not want to become too political

11:39am

Adam

i know we don’t

but the fact is, i just have to get this off my chest a bit

you know what i’m saying?

it’s less about republicans

11:39am

Carly

just a call for better reporting?

11:39am

Adam

and more about inflammatory politics and yellow journalism

and the manipulation of the masses into opposing something they really shouldn’t

the public option of government-run healthcare became “death panels”

the suggestion to amend congressional rules involving filibusters became “the nuclear option”

11:42am

Adam

and as much as i’m a liberal massachusetts hippie, i do not see how these things should be rejected

11:42am

Carly

with the mosque, it has been reported as the “ground zero mosque” when it actually can’t even be seen on the sight

11:42am

Adam

exactly

11:42am

Carly

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2010/07/polls-reporting-on-ground-zero-mosque.html

11:42am

Adam

it’s like three blocks away

it’s not even really a mosque

it’s like a JCC or a YMCA for muslims

the mosque is even further away, close to times square

11:43am

Carly

and it isn’t on a street that commuters would have to pass on their way

11:43am

Adam

mhmm

people are making controversy out of nothing

you know what we should do? turn this conversation into a post

legitimately just post this conversation

as a multi-writer dialogue

what would you say to that?

11:46am

Carly

Repost exactly as is?

11:46am

Adam

as. is.

11:48am

Adam

it’s not that inflammatory

it explains our positions

it explains the goal of the blog

and it’s edgy (we’re reposting an im conversation)

11:49am

Carly

ok, let me re-read it

11:49am

Adam

i’m saving it as a draft

11:50am

Carly

ok

I’ll look at it

11:52am

Carly

I’m definitely not a liberal, but I am really interested in media bias

I’m fivethirtyeight obsessed, but I think you would like this article too

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2010/08/conservative-liberal-sites-both-fueling.html

It shows the differences between new and old media

talking about race

well, i don’t know about like

but you will find it interesting

11:54am

Adam

right

11:57am

Carly

ok, i have to go

11:57am

Adam

alright.

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Let me Vibe

Aug 10th

Posted by Neal Moawed in Keeping Conscious

1 comment

The room is dark. The only light I have is the burn of my cigar (guilty pleasure) and the glow from my screen, moving to the beat, and the street lamp outside of my music. As I blow my smoke rings, it dances to the sounds of Wyclef Jean, the beat filling the room. A unique peace flows over me, and the stresses of the day just flow away.

The song changes and I start getting reminiscent. This time, R.E.M’s “Night Swimming.” Earlier, it was “Smells like Team Spirit.” Later, who knows, maybe some Buena Vista Social Club, Biggie Smalls, Herbie Hancock, or some long forgotten, once beloved song.

I personally have music on almost all day. When I hop in the shower in the morning, it could be a little Lil Wayne. When I get to work, maybe it’s John Mayer, or Dave Matthews Band (my boss hates rap music). Somehow, it’s never like this. I never focus on the music like right now, I rarely get the inspiration I get right now. For some reason, my relationship with music is one deeper than any relationship I’ve had with a girl, my I-Pod or laptop knows me, it knows my soul. It knows the ups and downs, the lefts and rights.

Like any relationship though, you take it for granted sometimes. When I was in Germany, listening in the dark like I am right now was an escape from the loneliness of being abroad, an escape from having to learn a new area and make new friends. More than anything else it was a release, I didn’t have to think, I could just, listen. On my bus rides to class in the morning, on those cold winter days when you want to just phone it in and stay in your warm apartment instead of going to that 8 am orgo, it was a motivator, an upper, something to look forward to. When I’m studying or reading for class, Miles Davis is always there to help me focus and put me in an open mindset.

I feel like I’m rambling, which is generally a cue to end the post. I guess that since its been so long since I’ve really vibed, and enjoyed the crescendos, staccatos, lyrics, beats, or melodies of my library I forgot what it does for you. I guess my point is, in times of stress, in times of happiness, sadness, loss or excitement, my music is always a way to release, focus and renew. I hope you all take some time to just appreciate it, for what it is, on its own. Music has never made me puke in the bushes, its never made me regret the night before, its only been good to me. Think about it.

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This kid rolls deep.

Embrace Your Inner Dork

Aug 9th

Posted by Ebakes in Keeping Conscious

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Hello everyone, my name is Eric and I’m a bit of a dork/nerd/goofy kid.  (Hello Eric).  I enjoy many stupid and nonsensical activities like doodling cartoons, dancing like an idiot, and going on long rants that typically start somewhere and end in the most unlikely place imaginable.  I dress in my own style and I wear a bandana to do my homework sometimes.  I love Hey Arnold! and trying (and failing) to do handstands.  Speaking of Hey Arnold!, that kid who what was up.  He was what all children (birth defect or not) should aspire to be like.  Kind, honest, and proud of who he is.  Not to mention his awesome sense of fashion.  Can you rock the sweater/kilt and tiny blue hat?  Yeah, me neither.  The kid has swagga (is that the proper spelling?).  I have numerous secret handshakes for each friend and I write/free style raps when I’m bored.  You may think I’m a spaz or perhaps a loser, but I will tell you what I really am.  I am honest with myself and happy to be who I am.

This kid rolls deep.

Now I’m not saying that any of you lovely readers are not honest with who you really are, but there are those who walk among us who are not.  I call them, “Day-walkers,” wait no, that’s Blade.  I actually call them, “People with a serious case of care-too-much-what-others-think-of-them-itis.”  It’s a serious condition and one that plagues schools world wide, our fine campus included.

Far too often do I see students who act and present themselves in a way that’s not only uncomfortable to themselves but it’s obvious to myself at least that they’re not truly happy.  I understand their reasoning; they want to fit in.  We all want to be accepted into a group.  It’s why we dress and act the way we do everyday of our lives.  It’s why we may act completely composed and professional and “cool” with some people and be a total nerd with our closest friends.  I myself went through numerous stages in high school and hell even a bit in the beginning of college.  It is only when we find ourselves the place that we’re happy and feel safe that we let out who we truly are.

It’s not that I resent these people, but I only wish that they’d feel less obligated to be who they think others expect them to be.  Why do we care what our peers think of us?  Why do we, as people, feel so in need of other’s approval?  Do you really need to spend hundreds of dollars on the “in style” clothing or listen only to the “coolest” music?  Do we all really have to be fans of Lost? I don’t think so.  Perhaps I’m unqualified to speak on behalf of the majority of students, but from where I stand, it’s sad to see someone with not only a gift, but a passion for something let it go to waste because they fear the reaction their so-called friends may give.

My good friend Raul Fernandez of the Howard Thurman Center (what what) once said, “Do what you love in life and the money will come.”  Now, you may not get paid for liking comic books or being the whitest rapper you know, but at least you’ll get the personal satisfaction of having fun doing something you really love.  Just have fun with life!  People will always come and go and honestly, if your “friends” reject you for the things that make you really you, then screw ‘em.  They are NOT worth YOUR time.  Be true to yourself and you’ll make real friends who not only like you for what you do, but they’ll respect you for being brave enough to do what you love.

That being said, time to rock out to Passion Pit and play some Bejeweled Blitz.  As a very wise Jedi once said, “May the force be with you.”

We all heart dorks.

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To Whom It May Concern…

Aug 3rd

Posted by icetheridge in Keeping Conscious

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To Whom it May Concern,

My name is Icee Etheridge and I have had the pleasure of living in South Campus this summer. It’s been great! The panneling is pretty outdated, but it creates a sort of cave that I’ve learned to love for its homey effect. And even though my refrigerator and oven are in two different rooms, I think that cooking has become a real adventure in discovering how many times I can travel back and forth between them before my meal is ready. Instead of dwelling on the possibility of my food being infested with God knows what critters, I like to maintain the ‘Ignorance is Bliss’ outlook. All in all, I’ve been living the good life. There’s only one problem. Now, I don’t wanna sound like a whiner or anything, but it’d make me so much happier if you could manage to keep it down juuuuust a bit. You see, just as facing the alleyway means almost perpetual darkness due to the lack sunlight (helps keep me cool), it also means that I have to hear a lot more than I’d like.

The sleep I want...

It started off innocent enough. Earlier in the summer, my room was oft times filled with the joyous laughter, threats and cursing of the delinquent middle schoolers across the way. Changing was always a problem as I was never super confident that they couldn’t see through the grates from the schoolyard, but I got by. And just as I was getting used to them whistling out of the short yellow school bus as I passed each morning, school ended. I thought things would quite down now when the little darlings went on summer vacation.

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