BA in Procrastination

| December 7, 2015 | 4 Comments

(Disclaimer: The following does not represent a true track of courses available at BU, but it should.)

BA in Procrastination*

The major in Procrastination provides students with a thorough understanding of why the need to goof off is such a powerful feeling, what the feeling does to us, and how we can take advantage of it in spite of its temptations. It demands a lack of attention to the study material, so students can work on fostering their own growth instead, using advanced software such as Netflix and Doritos. Students are also given room in the program to choose their own areas of disinterest.


Requirements

Prerequisites

  • PT 101: Introduction to Introductions
  • PT 102: Introduction to Procrastination

Principal Courses

Nine courses with a grade “Incomplete” or higher, four of which must be:

  • PT 201: Intermediate Sleeping In
  • PT 202: Intermediate Eating Out
  • PT 203: Procrastinatory In-Class Doodling 1**
  • PT 204: Procrastinatory In-Class Doodling 2

**PT 201, 202, 203, and 204 should be taken either before or after the Senior year. Don’t worry, you will have learnt all the skills without taking the classes anyway. Students with a strong background in art may substitute the PT 203/204 track with the more advanced PT 303/304 (Procrastinatory In-Class Sketching 1 and 2). Topics common to both tracks include: drawing your professors with the appropriate respect to fondness ratio, mapping out a paper for one class during another class and never returning to it, and Starbucks. Damn coffee stains.

Elective Courses

In addition to the four required courses, students must choose five electives from the following list numbered PT 320 – PT 499:

  • PT 320: Advanced Partying
  • PT 321: Advanced Netflix — Binge Watching
  • PT 322: Advanced Netflix — Putting Off Watching Things You Actually Want to Watch for When You Have Time to Appreciate Them
  • PT 330: Guys, What’s With the Gaps in Course Numberings? Why Do We Arbitrarily Jump From 322 to 330 to 338 to 356?
  • PT 355: Grocery Shopping to Delay Studying
  • PT 356: Advanced Putting Off Laundry
  • PT 361: Adult Responsibilities Shirking
  • PT 362: Advanced Drunk Dialing Theory
  • PT 363: Social Media Browsing
  • PT 364: More Social Media Browsing
  • PT 365: Amazon Window-Shopping: Theory
  • PT 367: Amazon Window-Shopping: Application (with Lab credit)
  • PT 372: Frequently Switching Majors
  • PT 387: Celebrity Gossip
  • PT 401: Research — Approaching Your Professors
  • PT 402: Job Searching Theory
  • PT 403: Advanced Advanced Netflix — More Binge Watching
  • PT 404: Blaming the Weather
  • PT 405: Advanced Daydreaming
  • PT 421: Unemployed Life
  • PT 430: Unnecessarily Long Walks
  • PT 440: Not Showering for Days Theory
  • PT 450: Study of Candy Crush
  • PT 451: Videogame Controller-Holding
  • PT 452: Comfort Eating: Application (with Lab credit)
  • PT 455: Missing Dinner and Going to Late Night
  • PT 456: Missing Late Night and Looking for Restaurants
  • PT 457: Missing Class Because You Went Looking for Restaurants Late at Night
  • PT 458: Yawning
  • PT 462: Drool Control Studies
  • PT 468: Advanced Staring at Walls
  • PT 470: Incomplete Major Requirement Studies
  • PT 471: It was My Minor’s Fault!
  • PT 485: Doctor’s Appointment Aversion
  • PT 486: Ramen Noodles Theory

*Your diploma may take an additional 5-6 years to be processed after the date of your graduation.

feature photo: HLTMCP via photopin (license)

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Category: Campus Culture, featured, Poetry, Prose and Comedy

Aaraf Afzal

About the Author ()

Aaraf Afzal is many things, but he's not particularly good at being any of them. He continues to work towards this goal, among others, studying Film & TV and Economics at Boston University. An avid subscriber to the belief that all forms of media have their own sense of artistic beauty, he is particularly invested in writing fiction and recently released his first novel "Re: Revolution" in Bangladesh. Alongside his pursuits at Culture Shock, he's currently at work writing an online series called "The Chosen Zeroes." Fandoms and inspirations include Neil Gaiman, Kingdom Hearts, Ratchet and Clank, Marvel Comics, and Culture Shock. Giggity.

Comments (4)

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  1. Vicki Saeed Vicki Saeed says:

    I’ve been taking PT322 for YEARS (I can never seem to make it to the final).

  2. Kobe Yank-Jacobs Kobe Yank-Jacobs says:

    Also, the PT 455 – PT 457 sequence made me laugh hard.

  3. Kobe Yank-Jacobs Kobe Yank-Jacobs says:

    Wicked good! (I really am not trying to adopt Bostonian slang, but it felt particularly applicable.) I love your creative choice of format. Also, great point on the skipping course numbers. I once asked an advisor about that and got an inconclusive answer. I suppose it will require further investigation.

    • Aaraf Afzal Aaraf Afzal says:

      Haha, thanks Kobe! Glad you liked it!

      And yeah, it’d definitely be interesting to look into, if just to see the advisors’ baffled faces. :D

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