I hurriedly walked down the steps of the building and put my headphones over my ears.
Today was a bad day.
Maybe I just imagined it. Maybe they didn’t mean to seem mean. But I still felt it, and I wanted to talk to someone. Now.
I started calling my aunt’s house.
There are three people in my life who I can rant to about trivial things like this without feeling stupid: My aunt, my older brother, and my older sister. They listen, they sympathize, and they give me advice. I don’t feel shame when I tell them the little things I get upset over and they tell me I’m being stupid without making me feel stupid. They make me feel better.
She doesn’t pick up the phone.
Ok. I then proceeded to call her cell-phone. No answer. And then my other aunt’s phone.
“Hello?…Yes, we’re at the bank, but we’ll call you in thirty minutes.”
That’s too long, so I call my brother in the meantime.
He doesn’t pick up the phone. I send him a message about what happened, but I can’t fully express how I feel. I need to talk to someone. ‘There’s no reason to get worked up over this. Who cares?’ he writes back, ‘Treat yourself.’
I care. I grab a grande hot coffee and head back to my room where I can act as a hermit for the rest of the day. Away from all the people and away from everybody’s stares.
I don’t bother to call my sister. She’s at work.
I feel like my head is going to implode from all of the negative feelings which are duplicating by the second. It’s making me sad that I even feel sad about this. I start to assume my period’s about to come, but realize that I have another two weeks to go before my uterus starts to shed. Can’t blame it on the hormones. It’s just me.
It’s just me. There’s no one to talk to.
I realize there’s a hand-in assignment I need to submit for another class, but I dread going outside in the sun and feeling the cool air. It would mix with the heat flowing through my veins and sear my skin.
“keep fresh before me the moments of my high resolve.”
I sigh, roll my shoulders, and stuff my assignment into my bag. Time to face the real world. Again.
featured photo credit: photo credit: thedailyenglishshow 82-year-old Arrested After Slashing Tyres of Fellow Bingo Player via photopin (license)