Hello, my name is Ashley and I am a fortune cookie hoarder. I hoard the fortunes, not the cookies, just in case the previous sentence was confusing.
I carry them in my wallet, in my jacket pocket, my backpack and tape them to my desk. I may unconsciously carry some fortunes in my pocket and backpack after eating lunch at Panda Express, but the other gestures of compulsive hoarding are intentional.
I have never given much thought to saving them until I found a fortune in my pocket that was exactly the same as one on my desk. “You are a classic,” the fortune reads. What does that even mean? I am a classic what? A classic hippie, a classic joke teller, a timeless woman, the options are endless.
The repetition makes me realize two things: while I believe there is some fate involved in receiving a particular fortune at random, it is mostly just probability at work as opposed to fate, or I am doubly classic.
The bottom line is, my Panda Express fortunes make me feel good. Dare I say, hopeful. Even though the “Panda Express. Panda Inn” script at the bottom of the fortune kills the feel-good buzz. I suppose, however, that the goal is to make customers feel valuable. At least that is what I will tell myself.
To quote one of my fortunes, “good news will come to you from far away.” Well, wherever you are Panda Express fortune cookie machine, you send me good news every time I eat orange chicken.