Reflections on Transitioning from an Alternative Private School to a Straight-Up Public School

| April 11, 2013 | 1 Comment

I went to an alternative, private Kindergarden. In first grade, I startedand remained inpublic school. Here’s what I remember about that transition:


meet kale


ALTERNATIVE PRIVATE SCHOOL:  You eat lunch,which your mom packed for you in little Tupperware containers, in your classroom while listening to Mozart’s The Magic Flute. You and your friends like to pretend that your organic baby carrots and Kombucha-infused fruit leather strips are, in fact, the Magic Flute itself. This is your idea of a “good time,” though it’s definitely not as good as your Kombucha-infused fruit leather.

STRAIGHT-UP PUBLIC SCHOOL: You drink some red sugar water, known as “fruit punch,” out of a cardboard carton that you struggle to open. When your fingers are stained pink and coated with soggy bits of cardboard, you finally open the carton but spill its contents down your shirt. The raisin-faced lunch lady spots you from across the cafeteria and drags you into the nurse’s office so quickly, you don’t even realize you could probably go spelunking in her wrinkles. The nurse reluctantly fishes through the “lost and found” and pulls out the only article up clothing that she thinks will fit you: a smelly pair of overalls that inevitably accentuate your crotch no matter how much you loosen the straps. When you return to the cafeteria to salvage whatever lunch time you have left, yourealize that your hot dog, which has fallen off your styrofoam tray, bounces.



ALTERNATIVE PRIVATE SCHOOL: You choose what you want to learn. You’ll spend your day milling around your classroom, playing with number chains and pink block towers. Even though your “instructor,” whom you call by her first name, Sima, has never taught the alphabetand never willeveryone magically knows how to read.

STRAIGHT-UP PUBLIC SCHOOL:  You have desks. You’re forced to sit at one that is covered in graffiti and is in the back row. While the teacher writes on the blackboard, which is actually green, the bully in front of you steals your Lisa Frank pencils out of your pencil well. When you tell your teacher someone keeps stealing your pencils, she scolds you for not being prepared for class and gives you a yellow replacement pencil, and it’s not even a Dixon Ticonderoga, but the knock-off, cheap-o Staples brand.





ALTERNATIVE PRIVATE SCHOOL: You have Spanish class in Kindergarten.

STRAIGHT-UP PUBLIC SCHOOL: You do not have the option of taking Spanish until everyone in your class collectively has 106 pimples.



ALTERNATIVE PRIVATE SCHOOL: Everyone is just as smart, as kind, and as good at composting as everyone else.

STRAIGHT-UP PUBLIC SCHOOL: Your first year, you are invited into the “enrichment program”  based on your high performance in alternative private school.  Your second year, you will not be invited back to the “enrichment program.”





Tags: ,

Category: featured

About the Author ()

Hailing from the city of Cheesesteaks and the Fresh Prince- more like the suburbs of Philadelphia- Jess is a member of the class of 2014 studying English and History in CAS. When she is not busy taming her massive hair or writing for Culture Shock, she can be found exploring Boston, bopping to Mos Def or doing impressions from Saturday Night Live skits. She hopes you find her ramblings quirky and insightful, and if not, she at least hopes you find them entertaining.

Comments (1)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Tatiana says:

    This isn’t really a transition from private to public but from kindergarten to grade school. Obviously kindergarten is more loosely organized. I also had spanish class offered in elementary school and you could bring lunch from home if you wanted.

Leave a Reply