You make me wonder who I am,
More so what I am.
You make me question all my dearly held ideals,
Or so they seemed at that time.
Then you give me the room to question,
If ideals are required at all.
You spin me into a rut of self-doubt,
You rip me apart.
But then again, there are times you make me realize -
I am the Boss of my life.
In your presence I ponder about the true essence -
Of people, of space, of time.
Of God, of Consciousness, of its existence.
Then I go tangential
To worry about the trivial, about the ephemeral.
But while those profound thoughts lasted;
They sculpted dimension.
You induce tears; you induce pain –
Oh so much pain.
Then you induce happiness –
Oh so much happiness,
Followed by shame.
You coil me in my own foil of emotion –
Emotions I never wanted to get in touch with,
Let alone deal with.
You force me to face them.
In your authority, I have no say.
You make me a person.
You tolerate wandering thoughts,
You tolerate the lack there of.
Calmness and Chaos exist in synchrony
When you are with me.
My mind whizzes about,
My mind remains motionless.
You nurture such juxtaposition –
For really, it only makes me human;
You make me human.
I sit there wrapped in your eternal arms
Silence – you have changed me.
Originally performed at open mic for BU’s Speak For Yourself Club and posted at gayathriangou.com