Student Not Murdered

| February 27, 2013 | 1 Comment
The scene of the crime.

The scene of the crime.

Boston University student Ryan Brister, 19, was not murdered last night near Kenmore Square, according to police.

Brister was found very much alive in his dorm late Friday night. When police arrived on the scene, his body was found seated in front of his laptop, alone in his room. Officials described the victim, who is originally from Rochester, New York, as “altogether unharmed.”

“We believe that the victim knew the person who didn’t kill him,” said police officer Seamus McFlannigan. “His room shows no signs of having been broken into.”

Police have not yet released a list of suspects in the case, but said that a potential list would be quite large, as a number of people bore no animosity towards Brister.

“We’re looking at hundreds, possibly thousands of people who could have met the victim and not killed him,” said police officer Brian McFlannigan. “But the case is still in its early stages and that’s something we’ll have to narrow down as we go through our usual process.”

Possible motives remain unclear, but police ruled out the possibility of a sexual nature to the non-murder.

The non-murder comes as part of a recent spree of non-murders in the Kenmore neighborhood, near BU’s campus. Unconfirmed reports say that over 600,000 people were not murdered in Boston Friday night.

Greg Davis, a BU student who knew the victim, said that he was concerned but not especially surprised.

“You always hear about this sort of thing happening: people going out at night and coming home safely. But I never thought it could happen to Ryan.”

A friend of the victim, who wished to remain anonymous, said that the news came as a surprise. “Really? When are you going to give up this self-referential humor thing? You’re the only person who thinks it’s that funny, Brister.”

Brister declined to comment on the story, stating that all the facts on the matter would come out in due time.

Police say they will release more details on the case, including a list of potential suspects, today.


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Category: Boston, Campus Culture, featured, Poetry, Prose and Comedy

Ryan Brister

About the Author ()

Ryan is studying journalism in the college of communication. He hails from Rochester, New York, and is slowly growing tired of explaining that it's really quite far from NYC. He watches far too much sports and likes to think of his life as a really long (and occasionally boring) book. His guilty pleasures include most of the music from the 1980s and every movie Sylvester Stallone ever starred in.

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  1. nick_monty says:

    I laughed. A lot. Thank you for making this a swell day!

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