I was 16 when I learned with horror that one of my friends had had sex. Before then, sex was something that I vaguely knew some kids at school were having, but to which I had never attached a name or face. At that point, sex became something I wasn’t having.
I considered my friends to be fairly popular, handsome fellows, so if they hadn’t had sex, how bad could I really feel? But one friend was quickly followed by another. And another. Suddenly there were conversations that I couldn’t reasonably take part in. Occasionally I’d have to nod along with a joke and wonder if they knew I had only been on one disastrous date.
By graduation, only a couple of my friends were virgins. After freshman year here, I was alone. My late-blooming high school friends had acquired girlfriends or turned into party animals. And everyone I met on my floor in Warren, as far as I knew, had had their fair share. The friends I’ve made in Boston have no idea my love life has featured all the fun of unsalted cashews.
I’m now 20 years old, a sophomore in college, and I’ve never had sex. I’ve never seen a girl naked, though I’ve heard that bare bodies can easily be found on the internet. Hell, I’ve only had one kiss, and that came from a first grade classmate who almost definitely had cooties. I had nightmares about her for years, which might explain my present situation. I’ve still only been on the one date, and the girl I took to junior prom didn’t even dance with me.
I tell myself that sex can wait. At this point, it’s possible I’d be entirely happy just to find a nice girl whose hand I can hold while walking down Comm Ave. Perhaps I’d be contented as one half of one of those couples I try not to loathe. Maybe just going on a second date would help me sleep easier as I cuddle my pillow at night. I’ve discovered that girls have so many ways to say no, and it sure would be nice just to hear a yes for a change. But let’s be honest; sex is the holy grail in our modern society. And the feeling that I might be the only one never to find it is the worst part about being a 20 year old virgin.